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Competition can be a blessing and a curse.
In its positive polarity, competition is fuel for motivation. It represents a challenge, and it offers a forge for personal development, character, and perspective. People sign up for bike rides, 5K runs, and triathlons because of who they will become in the process of preparing for these competitive events. However, in its negative polarity, competition is a breeding ground for toxic cultures, creating an "Us vs. Them" mentality. It can lead to self-shaming and/or group shaming, being driven by a fear of losing, or identifying loss with failure as a person.
I can remember games and matches that I lost but felt really good about because of the experience and the stronger sense of self I gained as a result. I can also remember games/matches where shame, guilt, and self-abasement were present (regardless of whether I won or lost).
I talk to a lot of folks who mention feeling like they can’t come to the gym because of its competitive aspect. But the gym isn’t a competitive place—it’s a training ground, which gives it a spirit of collaboration that I like. Whether you're training for longevity, sport, or functional life events, you're not competing against the person next to you—you're collaborating with your future self.
Ok, you might ask, what about when you're in the middle of a workout and you see the person next to you going faster or lifting more weight? Here’s the thing: it's still a training floor, and the difference between training and competing is huge. When you’re training, you try new things, you put yourself in different positions, and you embrace trial and error because the gym is like a padded floor—this is the place to fall. There are no stakes or pressure, so let it go and appreciate that there's no right or wrong—there's only what you feel you need to do to get closer to your goal. The gym's purpose is to facilitate that journey and provide coaches who can relate to what you're working towards and offer guidance. But hey, at the end of the day, it’s your workout.
If competition is an energy that you have a love/hate relationship with, then I'd say it's best to harness the benefits of competition while sidestepping its negative pitfalls. We want to simulate aspects of competition to build resilience and character, but not to overwhelm. We want to access the motivation and embrace the challenge, but skip the part where the winner does a victory dance in the loser's face.
My favorite type of competition is the kind where both parties have gratitude for participating in something challenging and acknowledge that each has played a role in the other's growth and elevation, a collaboration within a competition.
Happy Friday!
Josh